Inner Workings, Outer Confusion

So, what do you do?

2009-04-28T15:08:00.004-05:00

What do you do when you know you should be thankful that you have a job, and that's all your employer reminds you of (all the time), but all you can think about is the day you can quit?

Is that wrong?

I took the wrong job offer last summer. I have known that for several months, but things just keep getting worse here. My personality doesn't fit in with their culture(i.e. I'm not little miss nice girl 24/7, imagine that!). I am damn good at what I do, but because a few people don't like me, it's gone on my review, and that's all they seem to be focusing on.

AUGH!!!!!!

Can someone say "subjectivity?" Whatever happened to objective, performance-based reviews? I mean, I know I am FAR from perfect (eons away, in fact), but it's still incredibly frustrating to have people's personal opinions of me, and not much else, show up in my review.

I am in a very awkward position here. I am deeply grateful that I am gainfully employed, but is it also okay for me to be deeply frustrated? I wish I could give my job to someone who would love it as much as I loved my last job, and I wish I could get a great one in return, but I know none of that can be the case right now, so I am trying to suck it up. It sucks a lot. I hate the recession!

I hate that I feel selfish for disliking my job, but I know someone else would be happy with it. I just wish I had another source of revenue coming in, because I would leave tomorrow if I could and give someone else the chance to flourish.

Ugh. I hate being a grown-up.

A Storm is Brewing in South Carolina...

2008-11-04T18:47:00.003-05:00

It is about 6:30 on Election Night, and I couldn't help but notice how foreboding the sky was on my drive home. It was pitch black heading West on I-85 tonight, and to the South, the sky had been posessed by pure evil. Dark clouds were making very creepy swirling patterns in the sky, and the wind had picked up by the time I left work. I couldn't help but shiver when I walked out into it alone.

Maybe it was the winds of change. God, I hope this is a good sign.

2 Weeks Notice

2008-08-19T20:10:00.002-05:00

So, for those of you who haven't heard, I have officially put in my two weeks notice. My last day working for the Credit Union here will be the 29th of August, and it is coming up fast.

I received an email today from the HR director. She wished me well, and would I please complete an exit interview? I got this as I was waiting on someone's credit to be pulled, and I almost collapsed into tears when I read it. It's a good thing I didn't- the person in front of me would have feared their credit was bad enough to make me cry!

I knew it was going to be excruciatingly difficult for me to leave this company, but I don't think I really grasped the depth of how attached I had become to everyone here. I keep saying that there really isn't anything keeping me here, but I have a bad feeling I was lying to everyone, including myself, about it.

We, as a couple, are lucky. Smitty has friends who have been far more than accommodating, and we could never thank them enough for all they have done. But, what about me? I have married into this set of friends, but the only thing I have going for me up there is the fact that I have a great job offer, and I think that finally sunk in tonight, and I became deeply saddened. I am leaving everything behind, and, tonight, the gravity of that statement made it hard to look forward to the future.

Things always look better in the morning. On that note, Goodnight.

State Farm sucks!!!!!

2008-07-17T19:01:00.002-05:00

*sigh*
Now, don't get me wrong. I've had my car insurance with them since I was 16, so I've been with them for a decade now. And then they pull this...

Today we got a letter stating that the insurance policy we just took out in May will be cancelled effective August 17th. The reason? "Insufficient Underwriting Information."

Whaaaaaa???? I am mad. I think I had a minor nervous breakdown. And then we got a quote from USAA which came in $200, or 35% cheaper per year.

So maybe it was a blessing in disguise? Either way, at least we will have insurance.

Let them eat cake...

2008-07-09T20:51:00.001-05:00

I'm in the process of waiting on a cake to come out of the oven. I am making burnt sugar cake for the first time ever, and let me tell you, melting the sugar did not go well the first time. I should have taken a picture just to amuse the masses.

However! The second time I was successful! We shall see how everyone likes it tomorrow. I know I will enjoy every last crumb of it.

Great Reading

2008-06-28T20:56:00.004-05:00

So, my friend Anne posted this on her blog, so I had to share with Smitty, and now I'm sharing with all of you.

"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed."

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE
4) Reprint this list in your own blog.

See the full list after the jump. Enjoy!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling*
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Have fun with it!!!

The house has been painted!

2008-06-25T21:23:00.003-05:00

Huzzah!!!
We now have a less offensive guest bedroom (now 2 shades of green), and a much nicer "Ripe Wheat" colored living room. The exterior is also apparently 2 coats of paint prettier, though we haven't seen it yet. There will be pictures soon, thanks to Bob.
There are also supposed to be no more holes in the floor! Yay!!! Do not worry, pictures will be posted soon. I'm DYING to see it myself.
Now, if only we could get a plumber out there that wasn't going to cost our firstborn child...

How time flies...

2008-06-16T17:16:00.002-05:00

Well, here we are, several weeks after my last post and I have remained silent. The closing was late, which resulted in several hundreds of dollars in extra expenses to keep Smitty up there for the new closing the following Monday. We still haven't heard anything about getting our money back from Anderson Area Properties, who is responsible for the delays. If you're buying or selling property in the Greenville/Anderson area, do NOT use Cindy at that office. She was the cause of all of the problems we had, and she's playing dumb about it all. There. That said...

The house is being painted. Interviews for jobs have been had by me, and they have gone well, despite the killer flu/cold thing that Smitty gave me just before I left. Did someone say 103 degree fever? Oh yes, they did! God bless Lucky Bob for putting up with me in his house while I was ill. If you get sick, man, I really owe you.

I am also currently recovering from wisdom teeth extraction, which is not exactly what I call fun. I don't want to go back to work, but I need to hammer out a date with my boss as to when I can come back for second interviews with a few people. This interviewing thing is going to get expensive, but I'm just glad it's going well. I'm ready to leave. NOW.

So basically, in 10 days, I have had the flu from hell, 5 interviews, and had wisdom teeth pulled. I'm tired, and I don't want to go back to work for about another week. Do you think they'll allow that? I wish... There is a reason I don't blog much on here, and it's because my blog becomes just a portal for me to vent about stupidity and laziness, and anything else that may tick me off during the day.

Uh oh... I'm starting to sound like Smitty. I'm just going to say I'm glad Clinton's finally out of the race, and that's the extent of MY political blogging for today.

Maybe there will be more later.

Meet our soon-to-be new house!

2008-05-01T21:25:00.002-05:00

This is our soon-to-be (hopefully) new house! The trees are blooming! The appraisal came in great! I am still worried, but that's okay!!!
We are closing on the 16th! Yay!!!

The registry... The wedding dress... Etc...

2008-03-31T20:25:00.004-05:00

Okay, so since Smitty has still not posted this on his blog, I am doing it on mine.

We are registered at JCPenney and JCPenney.com, too, for those who want to avoid the maddening retail shopping experience. If you search for my name, or for Smitty's, you should find us. We were reluctant registerers (yes, it's a word now!), so there isn't a laundry list of tiny things, but a few, uh, points in the right direction. More wedding stuff on the next page...

My coworkers were nice enough to throw me a shower. It's taking place next week, so this should be interesting. I am so lucky though to have coworkers that care enough to take it upon themselves to plan one. One of them is even on vacation that week (Spring Break for the school kids), but she's coming in after work anyway! How sweet is that!!!! I am going to miss these people. I may not miss the customers/members, but for the most part I probably will. But I can't wait to move!

For those interested in the dress, it's almost done! It's actually got a zipper in it, and it's in one piece now! Yay!!! It should be darn near completely finished this weekend. I have a LOT of hand-sewing to do. Stupid bridal details. Grr... I love it though. I had long considered something, well, poofy! I like the ballgown look, but this is way more "me."

I am actually using a piece of vintage fabric that I inherited from my family in the Philippines for the dress, and it's beautiful. It was given to me almost 9 years ago now, and it had been in a box for quite some time before that. It's lovely, and you can't find anything like it over here in the States, so I was very excited to get to use it. Getting it to work with this dress pattern was a headache, but it has turned out pretty darn great. I'd post pictures, but that's against tradition. Right? Eh, I got my superstitions from my Philippine relatives, too. So sue me.

Hillsborough County Sheriff Deputy at her best...

2008-02-13T21:31:00.002-05:00

Apparently, one of our Sheriff's Deputies thought it was a good idea not to believe a man who said he was a quadriplegic, so she dumped him out of his wheelchair onto the floor. Take a look at this story...

HCSO at it's best

People are unbelievable sometimes. I had someone at my desk who knew her, and called the deputy who did this "my friend." why would you lay claim to someone like that being your friend? Any other questions about why leaving Tampa might be a good idea?

House hunt is going well, by the way! Yay!!!!

Honeymoon stuff!

2008-01-26T19:01:00.001-05:00

Greetings folks!

I know it's been a while, believe me things have been crazy. I have found something interesting about planning a honeymoon: most hotel reservations desks hire jackasses to answer the phone! Allow me to elaborate further.

We have been debating several ideas for a honeymoon site. We think we have a decision, but I just had to tell the story of what I've encountered so far on the phone. Upon calling many a hotel, when asked if they offer a honeymoon package at all, the response has generally been "no." No further elaboration. Just "no."

What happened to customer service? What surprises me is that a honeymoon usually brings guests to a hotel for over a week, and they spend quite a lot of money (basically speaking here folks, bear with me.) Who wouldn't want to give that customer the best service possible? Obviously, these people haven't been trained in that department.

Honeymoons are supposed to be a big deal, right? Why don't any of these hotels seem to think so? Sheesh... I'm done now. More later. MUCH more later. :)

So, how's your holiday rush going?

2007-12-13T21:49:00.000-05:00

It has been quite a while since I have posted.

I am finally finished moving, and I am relieved. The place is still in chaos, but we have a very nice Christmas tree in the middle of it all. I am 2/3 of the way done with my shopping for people this year, and I am quite proud of that. I am glad I have not had to face the madness that is tradition at any mall you can find in the country. We had quite the enjoyable shopping trip at the outlet mall down in Ellenton, which is primarily outdoors. It was fairly crowd-free, especially for a Saturday, and I found many wonderful things for Christmas gifts. I will definitely be doing more shopping there in the future.

I bought Smitty's wedding band. Actually, I bought two. These may wear out a little faster than gold will, but they're AWESOME!!! Email me if you want a picture.

Smitty is finally getting out of the Air Force. YAY!!!!!!
Yikes... Ahem. YIKES!!!!!! We have started tightening up our budget until Smitty finds a job, which hopefully will not take that long. He actually came across a position that would be absolutely PERFECT for him, believe me, so we're hoping he just gets an interview. That's all it would take!

*sigh* Anyway. We just came out of a 2 and a half hour long Homeowner's Association meeting, and now I'm going to bed. Goodnight!!!

Hahahaha!!!!

2007-11-17T22:02:00.000-05:00

So, a few days ago, Jackson took a liking to one of Smitty's plastic Clemson cups. He picks it up and trots around the house with it proudly, and it's hilarious. I had to share this picture. It looks like the dog has a drinking problem!

Hope that brought a little joy to your life!

Chaos continues...

2007-11-13T19:21:00.000-05:00

Moving furniture is always pretty chaotic, isn't it? Most of my large furniture has moved into Smitty's place now, and the place actually looks bigger than it did before! Amazing feat of physics, if you ask me.

The dog continues to be confused/stressed by the moving of many things. He just seems very worried about everything, and walks around with his ears down and his tail down when we're moving furniture. He's still new to the house, so I can understand this worrying him. We try and take him with us when we go back and forth between the apartment and the condo.

Consolidating households is hard! Can I stop now? Please?

Biscuit sighting!!!

2007-10-20T07:23:00.001-05:00

They do exist!!!

And they're tasty, too!!! Mmmm....

Oooh! Look! They brought bacony friends with them! And they bathed in raspberry jam, too!!

Um, I think the dog wants some bacon...

Maybe it's the weather...

2007-09-20T17:14:00.000-05:00

I have a good friend, J, who has been excitedly trying to get ahold of me for several days. When we finally managed to connect last night, he announced that he is buying a house! Yay!!!!! Here's the problem...

I am never going to get to own my own place. It will always be "our" place. This occured to me several days before J's announcement, when I was pondering the impending loss of my apartment. This, of course, has woven itself into a much larger thought tumbleweed, and I'm going to let it roll. After the jump, of course...

Why is it that so many women give up so much to have a marriage? You always hear about women giving up college, careers, friends just to cater to her husband's career. Well, what about us? It really bothers me when people immediately say "Oh, so when are you going to have kids?" when they hear of an engagement. As if that's the only thing out there to do after marriage! I am going to get my MBA next fall, which is something I have wanted to do for a long time. Call me greedy, but I want to have the best future for my family as possible, and if that means more school to open more opportunities, awesome! I LOVE school!

Kids? What are those?

I realized that I have never given things up. I uprooted myself from my hometown and moved up here because I wanted to go to a better school than we had down there. My then boyfriend (ew) had the choice of moving with me or not. Staying there was never an option for me, even if he decided to stay. I'm honestly glad I'm so stubborn because I'd never be able to put up with Smitty otherwise. After all, I am residing with a future lawyer. I'd better be able to hold my own in an argument!

So, am I one of "those" women because I've never owned my own house? I've paid my own rent for years, so I guess that counts. I own a car. Ugh, why does this bother me so much?

Shameless begging...

2007-09-12T18:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, who want to win a 2007 Mustang?

Ok, everyone who said yes owes me $5 for a raffle ticket.

Seriously folks, we're selling tickets to win a 2007 Ford Mustang. All proceeds go to the All Children's Hospital here in Tampa Bay. Most of you know how to reach me if you'd like one. Which, of course, I know you all do. :)

Come on guys! It's for a good cause! Drawing is held October 8th.

Newest addition to the Smith household!

2007-08-19T17:28:00.000-05:00

Meet the newest member of our household!

This is Action Jackson! He is 8 years old, and is mostly Jack Russell Terrier. We adopted him from the Humane Society of Tampa. He is extremely well behaved, and less hyper than most Jack Russells. He's SO cute!!! Welcome Action Jackson! Yayyyy!!

Silence, white noise, it's all the same to me.

2007-08-17T18:02:00.000-05:00

I have nothing to say. I'm too angry to think a single cohesive thought. I don't feel the need to explain myself either.

I hate the fucking military. If you are reading this, and don't understand why, you probably shouldn't leave a comment regarding this statement, unless you want your head bitten, or perhaps ripped, off.

As for the rest of you, I may be bitter and angry for a few days. Please forgive me of this. Thank you.

Decisions, decisions...

2007-07-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

I think I have become the most indecisive person on the entire planet.

I had briefly mentioned before that I get to make my wedding dress, which is something I'm really looking forward to. However, the problem is that I cannot make up my mind at all when it comes to what style to make. Everyone says that this is one of the first, if not the first, decisions a bride is supposed to make, but I can't even begin to decide! *sigh*

Am I panicking too much about this? Any advice? To all people who have been through this, how did you know that dress was THE dress?

It turns out it's contagious...

2007-06-14T21:20:00.000-05:00

That excitement? The excitement that's been brewing about the upcoming wedding? Yeah, it's contagious, so watch out...

I have been bitten by the wedding planning bug, and I am having fun so far! Of course, I'm most excited about the dress because I haven't gotten to sew anything this complex, challenging and wonderful in years.

And I get to marry the most wonderful guy in the world!! Woohoo!!!!

(See? I told you it was contagious.)

My Version

2007-06-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I noticed Smitty was posting his version of the proposal story, so I felt inclinded to go ahead and post mine simultaneously so that the two could be compared. I suggest reading his here first, so you understand how much effort went into the whole thing. This is going to be fun, I promise!

Monday, June 4th was exactly one year from our first date. I went to work as usual, since he had said we had plans for that evening. Around two o'clock, I was finishing up with a customer. My boss, Eddie, walked by and mentioned that I had a credit union member waiting, apparently someone I had helped last week. I assumed, naturally, that it was someone who spoke Spanish because I'm the only rep there that speaks Spanish. I finished with my member, and went to the front desk to sign out the person who had been waiting.

Of course, the sign-in pad only said Mr. Smith. I looked over in the lobby, and there was Smitty, waiting patiently in his Devil Rays jersey. I, being a good employee, asked him if he would wait while I took another member who was listed just ahead of him. He stopped me and said, no, you don't understand. I'm here to take you with me now to go the game. Eddie already knows about this. Smitty had even packed a change of clothes for me!

This, of course, baffled me. Eddie was around the corner on the phone, so I tapped him on the shoulder and mouthed "You knew about this?" To which he responded by nodding his head, and waving goodbye. On the way out, Eddie told me to enjoy the game. I finally proceeded to sign out, and clock out for the day, went to change my clothes in the bathroom, and we left for the game.

I was so excited that I got to play hooky from work, and with my boss' permission!! My boss was cool before, but this made him even cooler.

We had the most incredible seats at the game. We were two rows behind the on deck circle (where the batters warm up before they go up to bat). There was the most adorable little girl next to us, who was heckling the players just as well as any adult ever could! It was a great group to sit with, and the Rays were doing well so far.

In the middle of the 5th inning, Raymond, the Rays mascot (please see Smitty's blog for a picture) comes running down the bleacher stairs and stops in front of me. He's wearing a tuxedo and carrying a bouquet of silk roses, and a box. It wasn't a tiny box, but a small box. I, again, was baffled, and rather embarassed. Raymond proceeds to set down the bouquet and open the box and hold it out to me.

It contained a ring pop. A purple one, no less. At this point, I'm tearing up, because I finally had a clue as to what was coming.

Smitty stands up and says something like, okay I have to put a stop to this. He then pulls a ring box out of his pocket, opens it to reveal his Grandmother's ring, and asks me to be his wife. At this point, I'm crying. I nodded my head, and said "Okay," and hugged him harder than I think I ever have.

So, that's how it happened, at least from my point of view. Even my boss knew he was proposing. Apparently, that's how Smitty got him to let me out of work. *sigh*

In other news, the Rays won on Monday. I think it's a good sign.

A brief overview of today...

2007-06-04T20:37:00.001-05:00

Okay, for those of you who are probably wondering...

I said yes!

This is a picture of his grandmother's ring. Apparently, it hasn't been used to propose to anyone since 1935, which I think is pretty cool. For the sake of anonymity, I will not be posting the picture of us at the game, immediately following. We're both practically glowing. Ew... Enjoy!!!

Two months later...

2007-05-31T20:53:00.001-05:00

Okay, finally, as promised, are photos of the garden from about a week ago. Here is a before photo, for those who do not wish to scroll forever:

Here is a current photo of what has happened:

I thought I had taken a photo of the lettuce row, but I can't find it. We're already harvesting it though, that should give you an idea of how big it has become. Smitty is a huge fan of the spicy spring mix we planted because it's very peppery. The radishes are, too, which you can see between the corn. Here's a photo of the side yard, where you can see corn growing all along the fence. Yay!

On a completely separate note, I have fully recovered from what turned out to be a very bad case of food poisoning. It took a week before I could eat normally again, and I can honestly say I never want to go through that again. Whew.